Nobody likes to cut a tree down, especially a healthy one.
But this cumquat or loquat or whatever the hell it was sucked ass and was detrimental to our home, health and pursuit of happiness.
An Un-American tree!
Rotting fruit that attracted all manner of disease-ridden vermin.
Roots that threatened our sidewalk, foundation(!!!) and sewer pipes.
Leathery leaves that didn't decompose, so they choked my lawnmower and blocked the light from a section of yard near the front door--so much so that grass wouldn't grow resulting in it becoming a dirt 'litter box' for all the local cats and their feral diseases and fleas and shit.
When you walk outside your own home, do you enjoy being assaulted by the smell of urine and feces and decay and death while being attacked by fruit flies, regular flies, bees, gnats, mosquitos, etc?
Fucker had to GO!
And I’m happy to report that the grass I planted has nearly covered the offending area and all of our complaints have been remedied.
Cutting down that asshole tree was something I’ll never regret.
Everything grows well in the spring, especially when we have lots of rain like this year has seen.
Unfortunately, with all the rain and clouds comes perfect conditions for mold, mildew and fungus.
So, the stump of the tree I killed a few years ago is getting some kind of revenge by hosting a mushroomey type of white stump fungus.
Stump Fungus has a certain ring to it, which is (almost) the whole reason for this post.
I nearly went with Cummy Stump but soon realized that my commentary would have taken a turn for the worse by paragraph two.
Just the facts, ma'am.