Thursday, March 29, 2007

PowerWash That Shit!

Warning: Clickable Thumbnail Below!
It's after 3am.
A hired contractor is in the parking lot power-washing some kitchen equipment at a local bar and grill. (His forehead-mounted lamp really makes this photo work.)

I'm killing time, taking long exposure photos while waiting to get paid.

A discussion was held among the rest of the band regarding how much money to offer the dude to turn that sprayer loose inside the club.

Like many such late-night ideas, this one went nowhere.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Stump Fungus

Nobody likes to cut a tree down, especially a healthy one.
But this cumquat or loquat or whatever the hell it was sucked ass and was detrimental to our home, health and pursuit of happiness.
An Un-American tree!

Rotting fruit that attracted all manner of disease-ridden vermin.
Roots that threatened our sidewalk, foundation(!!!) and sewer pipes.
Leathery leaves that didn't decompose, so they choked my lawnmower and blocked the light from a section of yard near the front door--so much so that grass wouldn't grow resulting in it becoming a dirt 'litter box' for all the local cats and their feral diseases and fleas and shit.
When you walk outside your own home, do you enjoy being assaulted by the smell of urine and feces and decay and death while being attacked by fruit flies, regular flies, bees, gnats, mosquitos, etc?

Fucker had to GO!

And I’m happy to report that the grass I planted has nearly covered the offending area and all of our complaints have been remedied.
Cutting down that asshole tree was something I’ll never regret.

Everything grows well in the spring, especially when we have lots of rain like this year has seen.
Unfortunately, with all the rain and clouds comes perfect conditions for mold, mildew and fungus.
So, the stump of the tree I killed a few years ago is getting some kind of revenge by hosting a mushroomey type of white stump fungus.
It's disgusting-looking!

Stump Fungus has a certain ring to it, which is (almost) the whole reason for this post.
I nearly went with Cummy Stump but soon realized that my commentary would have taken a turn for the worse by paragraph two.

Just the facts, ma'am.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Touch And Goes

A touch and go is when a pilot is practicing missed approaches and the like by coming in for a landing and as soon as the wheels settle on the tarmac hitting takeoff power to go around and do it again.
It makes for a bumpy ride.
And you definitely travel at wide variety speeds--none of them 20mph.

Doing them in a C5, one of the biggest airplanes in the world, gave me the chills just watching from the ground.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Biggest Piece Of Litter, Ever!

City Parks in outlying areas are great opportunities for me.
Since I'm generally uninterested in the man-made "nature" of parks and prefer blazing my own trail through the wilderness, I just use the park's parking lot and hike beyond the boundaries into the real nature I grew up exploring.

(Did I ever tell the story about the time I narrowly avoided being crushed flat by a 2000 pound boulder that fell right where I had been sitting mere seconds before? In a cave, on a cliff, at age 6, playing with fire.
I was fearless then, and quickly learned that if I wanted to have my kind of fun I needed to keep quiet about my adventures or mom would lock me up on the weekends.)

Anyway, I found this heavy equipment tire in the woods, leaning against a tree that must be sad about this situation.
If that Indian in the old commercials shed a tear over a bag of trash, seeing this tire would kill him.
There's not going to be any biodegradation.
Nobody's going to pick it up and carry it out.
It's 8 fucking feet tall!

There's a new neighborhood being built nearby, so I'm pretty sure I know where it came from.
Should I send this photo and a map to the appropriate city department and get those assholes busted?

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The Mariachis Are Here!

Mariachis charge a lot!! Let them sing a few songs for you and see what it costs.
Can't even imagine what a pinch it was having them play for an hour at a wedding reception.
The old dude has a pretty nice new car to haul his trumpet around in.
Compared to other musicians, I think they charge too much.
It's not fair, and sets a bad example for the children.

I was afraid they would empty my wallet just for taking their picture, so I stayed on the far side of the parking lot and used maximum zoom.
And hey, my flash reached pretty damn far!

The legend goes that old mariachis never die, they just turn into metal folk-art.
Probably happens when they're too old to be trusted with knives.
No knife = no lime wedge.
No lime = no shots of tequila.
No tequila = they dry up and turn to scrap metal.

Friday, March 02, 2007

A Couple Of Feet Away From Funny

Sorry I don't have anything funnier to offer.
BTW, those are mine. My head's on the floor.
I wanna give a shout-out to my guest photog that sounds like "Help!"

Maybe I was demoralized by the "New Blogger" changeover that didn't go as well as I had hoped.
Wait, wasn't I pretty sure it would suck?

Maybe I've been taking my photography too seriously lately?
If so, that won't last long.
(And is there such a thing as too serious?)

Maybe I'm just unlucky right now and can't find any people acting like baboons lately.
Are baboons acting like people a good substitute?
"We're shopping! Bananas on aisle 2, shirts on the 2nd floor."

Anyway, I'm still trying.
This shit don't come easy.
Most funny-photo sites have many more contributors (like a few thousand at least) and I'm just one guy in a boring city with a good camera and a phone-camera, looking for things that make me laugh that I can share.

I'll be going to the zoo soon.
Maybe there'll be some comedy happening there?
The very first photo on this site was of a rhino pissing a river, and it was good stuff.