Sunday, July 31, 2005

Peace On Earth

It's got to be possible.

Everyone could learn something from this photo.
The cats don't care about the deer. They eat grass,
don't bark, and stay out of the litterbox.
The deer don't care about the cats, either.
They don't stink, are also quiet, and would rather
sleep than pester anyone.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Segway Dorks

There's a new outfit that gives guided tours
of downtown San Antonio, and they feature the
Segway (pronounced 'segue') "Human Transporter".
This clever gyro stabilized two-wheeler is
microprocessor controlled and even stays upright when
stopped. To go forward, you just have to lean forward
a tiny bit.
Longtime users report that it seems at times
that the machine reads their minds.
It fucking better at $8000+.
And it makes you look like a world-class dork.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Nap Time?

No, it's dead.
This toad has already been on the internet: Toad Portrait
A few days later I found it croaked on our patio.
I was going to take pictures of it every day
as it mummified in the Texas heat, but some critter
came in the night and ate it.
Probably a disgusting fucking possum.
Ah well, such is the cycle of life.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Pot Of Gold?

Women see the rainbow every time!
And they hear music by QUEEN, like in the Flash Gordon
movie from the '80s: "SHOES!! Aaahh-ahh..."

You girls and your footwear are so cute.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Emily Blows

Not much impact this far north, but we got enough
rain from it to relieve our drought conditions.
Our lawn is fully green again, and looking sweet
I might add.

Here's a bit of today's storm, running off the roof:

Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Worst-Looking Photo I Have Ever Posted

(The reason this one looks like ass is that
it was much darker than it looks here, and I was shooting
from a moving car.
But the subject was so compelling I had to swallow my pride
and publish it anyway.)
We were heading home after buying brown shoes when we spotted
this winner. Now, around here a guy on a horse is no
big deal, but add the sixpack hanging from the saddle with one
can already open, and a cellphone conversation underway...?
This guy would be deadly in a car but luckily there's something
called horse-sense keeping us safe.
He asked me why I was taking his picture.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Drought Conditions

It hasn't rained worth a damn in well over a month.
We're not allowed to use sprinklers during the day,
among other water restrictions.
That's why I laugh when I see shit like this, then grab
my camera.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Stupid Kids

Today I was awakened to the sound of firecrackers
going off in mailboxes on my street.
We watched these punkasses do it again, so I found
some shoes, grabbed my camera and car keys, and chased
the four of them down.
After blatantly taking their pictures several times,
I rolled up next to them and explained that tampering
with mailboxes is a federal offence, makes your neighbors
mad, and is a dumb thing to do in broad daylight.
The girl cleverly replied "Fuck You!"
She was obviously the leader, due to her brilliance.
Everyone knows that when someone witnesses you performing
an illegal act and takes your picture, you should curse
at them and piss them off, right?
Instead of calling the police, who are busy enough with
serious crimes, I decided to put them on the internet instead.
And point out that these two look like the result of inbreeding.
"Fuck You", indeed.
Right back at you.

Thursday, July 07, 2005


The two cowardly fucks who killed Ram Ayala
have been identified by witnesses and are
in custody.
Raise a cold one tonight, to Ram and to the SAPD.

Update July 13: The TacoLand doorman who was also shot
that night has died from his wounds.
He was shot while shielding a female coworker from
the gunmen, so he died a hero.
Here in Texas, a murder committed during another
felony--robbery in this case--is automatically
a capital murder case, therefore the death penalty
is likely. One of the two pieces of shit who did
this was already in jail for two other recent random
shootings when he was ID'ed.
Real trash.
Their mothers must be so proud.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Not Cool

This kid was going to stay right there until the
train got close. To impress his friends.
I was going to stay where I was, too. To get the shot if
things went terribly wrong.
But the train stopped at the crossing before this one,
and it was 102 degrees that day.
So we both decided to find some shade.
Because we weren't cool enough.