BassPro Shops™

San Antonio finally has a BassPro Shop™.
The place is huge and full of everything a camper/hunter/fisherman etc would want.
I mean really huge.
Seeing-is-believing huge.
The 15+ foot Christmas tree by the front door has stuffed gamebirds instead of ornaments.

Other stuffed critters are everywhere, some cute--some scary.

The fish tanks are supersized, too. This catfish is at least 3 feet long.

The mess behind this mascot is the landscaping that's still in-progress. Ponds and streams are being built.

Personally, I prefer Sportsman's Warehouse™ because their gun section has more items of interest to me, like aftermarket parts for the ultimate customizable gun--the Ruger 10/22­. Also, their optics section has a wider selection of tripods than any camera store I have been to. It's where we found mine.
I also buy my work/photography gloves there.
Still, the BassPro Shop is impressive as hell.

And this was yet another situation where a phone camera comes in handy.
Pulling out my bigass Sony would have attracted unwanted attention.

Sights While Christmas Shopping

At a sprawling, rickety amalgam of shops catering to handcrafters and antiques and uniques called Artisan's Alley.

Old dolls creep me out.
Hell, Bratz™ creep me out.

I hate the Cabbage Patch™ dolls not only because they are wicked fugly, but because on that certain Christmas many years ago when they were new and caused a must-have-frenzy I was the 19 yr old longhaired metalguy warehouse manager at a department store.
There was the constant stream of psychotic moms harassing the floor staff--who then called me to see if there were any more in the back--knowing there weren't but trying to avoid abuse by doing something.
Even worse were the Mommys offering me bribes of cash or drugs or you-know-what to set a few aside and deal them out the warehouse door.
It was the second Christmas where I lost some of my repect for people and the way they deal with the Holiday Season, where I learned that mothers are people, too.
Just as fucked-up as anyone else, only with kids.
No pedestals for anyone after that December.

The first Christmas when this happened, I was a Mall Santa.
The stories I could tell...

Hispanic Television

I have reached the decision that camera-phone photos belong here at Zzakk's Garage, but not at my other sites. Just sayin'...
There's no way I could have gotten this crappy shot using my "real" camera, and the lower quality has no impact on the resulting post I'm about to write:

The setting was one of the Taqueria Jaliscos here in SA.
Most Las Palapas are closed on Sunday, and we didn't feel like driviing too far for some good breakfast tacos.
From the time we arrived until our food came this clown was having a loud conversation on his cell phone. That's fine, and not worth commenting on.
After he closed the connection however, his attention was captured by the TV.
And one of the very worst shows ever was on, where a bunch of adults dress as schoolchildren from an idealized time, with silly school uniforms much like little blue sailor outfits.
They all talk in annoying high-pitched voices, and the 'humor' is beyond stupid.
Just the worst. I can't stress enough how terrible it is.

What caused me to take this photo was that this idiot actually laughed out loud at something that happened onscreen!! Out Loud!, no shit.

Hispanic TV shows are all over the place quality-wise, just like in any other country you can name. There will always be dumb shit aimed at the lowest common denominators.
I used to watch 'Betty La Fea' a few years ago and liked it, even though I could only catch a few words and phrases here and there. (The Americanized version is ABC's new hit 'Ugly Betty', by the way.)

My point is that I don't know anyone who thinks this particular show with it's screeching and annoying actors doing the dumbest things is in any way funny, or even watchable for that matter.

Except for this guy.

Trailer Trash And Ho's

I happened to be working at a private party that had the theme "Trailer Trash And Ho's", and unlike other themed parties I have worked at everyone was a good sport and showed up dressed appropriately.
The bartender (open bar!) hooked me up with the perfect beer, a PBR in a brown sack.
I used my camera-phone to shoot it in front of an educational display about Bluegills so as to retain some credibility as a serious amateur photographer.

There were mullets and fake(?) tattoos everywhere, as well as camo and WalMart smocks among the guys. This dude even tried to bum a smoke off me. Talk about being in character! (Not a big stretch I suspect)

The girls were true Ho's in every sense of the word. Just like on Halloween a woman's true nature comes out when told to wear a costume.
They can't help it, or they don't get it.
Either way, everyone had a lot of fun.