Jackasses

During last weekend's Chalk It Up event in downtown San Antonio I spotted these jackasses getting out of the taxi on the left.
My intuition told me to be ready because they looked like assholes, and I was right.
The one on the right dragged his heavy bag right across a piece of artwork that someone had spent hours producing.
Some people are too caught up in their own sense of self-importance.

The One Car Show

(Click to enlarge)
This past Saturday in front of the Municipal Auditorium we spotted a fine-ass Ford Mustang from the late '60s parked on the sidewalk.
Two guys were hanging around, polishing it up and talking. Sometimes another pedestrian would walk over and shoot the shit with them.
90 minutes later the same scene was playing.

We decided it was the One Car Show.

Maybe everyone else forgot to come?

Get Out Of My Way!

Today saw the bar raised when it came to rude assholes strolling in front of me and my camera when they clearly saw me setting up a shot!
I blew off some good photos because it got so bad.
No respect, I tell ya.

Click

Too many remotes in this house, don't you agree?

Teacher: "Use the word 'moat' in a sentence?"
Short bus thug: "Chappelle is on, hand me the 'mote!"

Chimp Gynecologist by Pierre Dumas

(Click to enlarge)

Been up for five days, and no comments.
So how about we make this a caption contest?
Winner gets to walk around looking smug for 15 hours.
C'mon people.

(Photo ©2006 by Pierre Dumas)

Halloween Is Coming

(Click to engorge)

Halloween is my second favorite holiday.
I go all-out to scare the kids who come to our house, and reward them with more and better candy than the rest of my 'hood.

There's something strange that happens in the translation of the word "costume" when it comes to certain adults.
Most people 'get it' and have fun dressing up as someone or something that's very different from their daily life.
A rugby player goes out as a pregnant nun, or a shy girl dresses up as Wonder Woman.
Slipping into an alter-ego is fun and can give you the chance to live out your fantasies for one night in a wink-wink-just-pretending way.
Good fun.

So what's the deal with the tramps?
Why do the girls who know they're hot and dress kind of slutty already insist on using Halloween as an excuse to show just how trampy they can really be?
Devil horns and lingerie is not a costume, honey.
You wear that shit every weekend, don't you?
We all know it.


In the music business there's an interesting semi-tradition that's lots of fun.
Many bands will wear costumes representing a wildly different genre of music.
Mariachis playing death metal and wussy pop bands dressed as KISS are two examples I have particularly enjoyed.
I saw a Stone Temple Pilots Halloween Night show, and they were dressed as 'Josie And The Pussycats' with sparkly dresses, high heels and wigs.
(We left early because the sound engineer had his head up his ass.
The sound is all muffled and shitty up in his butt (and in the hall) so he got aggressive with the 2.5 to 4khz range bad enough to cut your skin.)

WTF #4

Wow, the scoreboard kinda-sorta has your birthday on it?
7/7 for sure!
Awesome, killer, amazing capture, you rock...
Too bad nobody but you gives a rat's ass.


What I 'thing' is that this is a boring and badly made snapshot. You're just excited by the hottie.
A future in glamour photography is not going to happen.

Milo The Dog

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This is Milo, and while he's technically still a puppy, he is big!
His nickname is "One Ear" because the right one is almost always straight up while the left is usually drooping down.

These teenage geniuses were walking down the street and could only see him from the rear, but his head, collar and leash were plenty obvious.
One of them asked, in all seriousness: "Is that a rabbit?"
It was such a shockingly stupid question that we couldn't come up with a clever or sarcastic reply besides "It's a DOG!"

How many 60-80lb rabbits have you ever seen tied to a tree in someone's front yard?

Nice Hat, Sir

(Click to enlarge)

Caught 'out' at a downtown street party.
Does your mother know?

Seriously, this guy is either lots of fun, completely wasted, or he just doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks.
Which makes him cool in my book.
But that's one seriously gay hat.

WTF #3

(Click to enlarge)

Don't tell us about the photo you wanted to take but didn't.
It's completely irrelevant.


Nobody cares about old scanned photos you didn't even take.
Family snapshots only have meaning to the family.
The 'scanner error' part is hilarious, too.
If it scanned wrong, do it again!
This guy has posted lots of these, and is probably wondering why they are all being ignored.
"Because they suck" comes to mind.

WTF 2

(Click to enlarge)

The critique/rating system upsets many people, but only when they get low ratings with no comments. (If they get high numbers, they probably sit back with a smug look, thinking "yeah, I know, I'm great".)
They say it's because they want to learn how to be a better photographer. But my theory is that they want to be able to point out how the commenters 'don't get it', which let's the photographer off the hook for low numbers.
Why this guy only wants comments from south of the equator is a mystery.
I hope it's a joke, but cutting your target audience in half (more than half, I'm sure) isn't too smart.
Equatorist!



Here we have a common theme: "Make sure you know what category this is in, because you're probably too stupid to understand the point my photo makes otherwise."
Then he follows with the old "commentcommentcomment please you bastards" bit.

Spare me.
We hear it fifty times a day.
We get it.
You want comments.

Here's my comment: When you say the light was 'terribel' you're saying "I need to point out exactly why this photo is only worth a three so you guys know that I know that you know...and by hitting myself first maybe everyone else will take pity."

Excuses don't fly with me.
If the photo needs an excuse, what it needs even more is to be re-shot when the light is better.
If that's not possible because of your trip's schedule, that's a shame, but maybe you shouldn't post it on the 'net looking for strokes because it doesn't deserve any.
Crap+excuse=3+0=3