A Christmas Story

Don't you think this would be funnier with just the lamp in the window?
Adding the poster isn't necessary for those who get it, and those who don't should be allowed to remain adrift on the sea of ignorance.
Explaining jokes ruins them.


Sorry it's been so long since my last entry--I've been transferring all of my earlier photos to Blogger, from ImageShack. For the first 7 1/2 months of this site, Blogger's image hosting didn't work too well for me (or even exist at first) so I used another service and linked them over here.
My archived posts from most of 2005 showed full images instead of thumbnails, meaning the pages loaded slower for dialup users.
I could live with that.
But recently I discovered that I had no way to access my ImageShack account. Apparently they changed a few things and I didn't follow along.
Anyway, the transfer was tedious but it's all done now.
(I had to do the same thing at Views Of Texas and it took a few days).
Everything is now hosted at Blogger, and ImageShack can go screw themselves.

What A Bargain!

Seen at BigLots.
Shot with phone camera.
It was a bargain.
But that sign...

I Hate Traffic

One hour to go a single mile.
That's literally 1 mph.
No exits between the point where traffic stopped and the accident--they exist but are all closed due to construction.
But there were two ramps letting MORE traffic onto the highway.
Should have closed them.

And the jackasses who pass everyone who's stopped and then try to merge in farther ahead--totally unfair.

I was pissed.

What The...? (A Quiz)

The red lines are from the laser hologram low-light focusing system that my camera uses.
It shoots a grid pattern of laser light onto the subject from an emitter on the end of the lens that provide enough contrast for the F717 to focus even in total darkness.
They are pretty bright and are plainly visible in all but the brightest environments. In fact they tend to freak people out when spotted--think laser gunsights in the movies--or when they twinkle in someone's eyes.
(Certified to be safe, but I'm still glad to be on the delivery side vs the receiving end).

Normally they shut off before the shutter trips, and should be impossible to capture.
So how the hell did I get this photo?

Your speculations are welcome in the comments section.

Cameras And Confusion

There are certain situations that people are presented with in life where they suddenly don't know what to do.
This confuses and frightens them, and makes me laugh.
Like when a door they expect to work is locked.
Or when a guy named Zzakk walks into their store with realistic-looking fake bullet holes in his head, asking for aspirin. They want to do the right thing, but have no idea what that might be.

Another example is when they come upon a photographer at work.
Especially when a tripod is involved.

Here, my friend Buz is shooting long exposures of some public art and two young ladies (walruses, actually. Or is it walrii?) are thrust into that realm of indecision I'm talking about.
"Do we walk in front of the camera? Do we wait until told that it's OK? Is he shooting the whole time? Is he finished? Will he pause so we can pass? Will he give us fish sticks?"
All the while, they are stepping forward, pulling back, looking at him for guidance, looking at each other.
I revel in their discomfort.
Since Buz is new to public photography he was no help to them--I usually bark "Wait! OK, thank you." if someone is about to ruin my shot but sometimes I let them bumble around for my own amusement.
And sometimes they totally make the shot.

Later that night two couples also needed to pass in front of Buz's lens.
They didn't handle it well, either.
A simple "Tell me when I can get by" is all that's needed, people.

Body Shots

We all know about bodyshots, right?

I wouldn't lay down on top of a bar for anything, not that I've been asked lately.
Gross, but classy.

Wiki Madness

Wikis are fun.
If you look at them at the right time--after someone types something stupid but before anyone can clean up the mess they've made--you can catch some funny stuff.
Hoopedia is a basketball wiki, and I went to look at the Spurs's page recently and found this gem.

I love it when kids or those with the mind and maturity of a child use curse words--the combinations and originality are interesting to me because I've always been a vulgarian.
I'm sure it'll be easy for you to accept that I could read by age three and was probably swearing by then, too.
I've known the taste of soap.