Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Velvet Rope


Here's a crappy old photo that illustrates an important point.
We need to bring back The Velvet Rope.

From the way the sign is pointing, I AM behind
the yellow line.
And if I 'stand behind yellow line' far enough,
I'll get run over by a train.
If we went back to using The Velvet Rope, like in
the classy restaurants and movie theaters of our
parent's era, everyone would be safe.
The sheer opulence of the brass-on-iron stanchions
coupled with the luxurious authority of the thick
velvet rope itself guarantees that the unwashed masses
will line up all nice and tidy, on the correct side of
the tracks.
(And maybe in the convenience store, too.)

You see, this dumb sign was too easy to move.
The whole velvet rope system is too heavy
and cumbersome for some part-time employee to bother moving
it to the wrong place without a damn good reason.

1 comment:

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