Thursday, March 27, 2008

Take Down Your Xmas Lights!

Phone-camera shot from a moving car while driving, but you get the idea.

I took this on January 29th which is already a late date to have Christmas lights outside of a box in your garage, let alone still on your house and lit.
As of now they are still up and lighted every night--I see them on the way home from work and laugh my ass off.

Come on, people.
Just because your porch light is busted (my latest theory that fits all the details) doesn't mean you can't come up with a better alternative.
I can walk into a dozen different stores and either fix your problem or buy a reasonable replacement for under $10.
Use your heads, if they still work.

My previous theory that they died alone and left the lights on didn't pan out after I saw living humans(?) park in the driveway and go inside.

Maybe it's some kind of drug-dealer signal?
If so, the house is on Newcome near the elementary school...

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Sick Squirrel

Walking out to my car I was surprised by this squirrel on the porch right next to our front door.
Just opening the door should have sent it running let alone waving my arms, yelling and taking it's picture with my phone's camera:
Something must be wrong with it--this isn't normal behavior at all.
I was raised long before the generation of people who were taught that all animals want to be our friends. These deluded folks are sometimes torn apart by bears, proving that Darwin was right.
No, I was taught to fear rabies and other diseases that wild creatures carry.
Don't misunderstand, I dearly love animals and frequently try to capture their beauty in photographs for everyone to enjoy, but common sense tells me that they can be unpredictable (ever watch Jack Hanna on Letterman?) especially when sick or injured.
To compound the normal level of caution, my cousing James (an entymologist!) recently died from an auto-immune disorder that caused neuro-muscular degeneration--the first of my generation in the family to die--from a tick bite!!!
Fuck critters--It's us or them sometimes, and people are more important to me than bugs and rodents.

This is Mr. Sick Squirrel after I used the garden hose to wash him off the porch and into the yard.
No fucking way am I letting him suddenly "get better" and leap into our home.
Ever had a squirrel or bat in your house, running rampant and rabid around the place knocking shit off shelves and ruining your day?
I have, and it sucks ass.

After washing old sick&furry into the yard it was obvious he was spent and needed some rest, so I got my good camera for the photo above.
Nice and close, so everyone who thinks he looks sad will hate me even more.

It was over 90 degrees that day, and I purposely left him in the sun so his fur would dry fast and he could recover more quickly.
Still there a few hours later, gone a few more hours after that.

I'm not especially proud of the way I handled this, but I don't think there was any better way.
The city wasn't going to come out for a damn sick squirrel unless somebody had already gotten bit, and that's letting things get too far.
Wild animals aren't safe no matter how hard you wish they could be or what kind of friendly vibes you send them, especially when sick or injured.
A proper amount of respect for their potential danger is never a bad thing.

Whether he got better on his own or was eaten by something bigger isn't my affair.
Just get the hell off my porch so I don't have to worry about what you might do.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

No Babies Again

Found this floating somewhere in the vast toilet of the interwebs.
Don't remember where, but it had already been reposted so many times that locating the original photographer proved impossible.

Click on this link to see the one I shot, as posted way back in April of 2005 during the first weeks of Zzakk's Garage.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


Might as well take a look around while you're head is so deep in your own ass.

Don't remember where on the web I found this news-worthy nugget of shit.
It makes me sad to accept that there are people who really think like this.

What do officers in the field (the only ones that troops get a chance to shoot) have to do with foreign policy?
Don't these officers have families, too?

Whoever made that sign makes me sick.
Traitorous, blood-thirsty, evil and stupid piece of filth.