Friday, June 29, 2007

Faker

If you're so hurt, why are you able to get on the gurney by yourself?
More to the point, why are the two EMTs and a pair of bike cops letting you?

Sir, you have much in common with PH who just "Found God" in the most ill-advised PR debacle in recent memory.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Cold Night In Corpus Christi

In the early morning hours as I took smoke breaks on the 2nd floor balcony of our hotel room I watched one of those drunk girls who are always crying and carrying-on ruin a romantic weekend with the boyfriend with her loud and unnecessary drama in the parking lot.

Various cars and motorcycles with loud pipes showed off on Shoreline Drive.
Street characters wandered around, pretending to be late night tourists whenever the cops rolled past.

And this particular gentleman slept on one of the bi-directional benches atop the seawall.
With head and arms pulled into his shirt like a turtle, he fights off the cool salty winds blowing across the bay.
I got the vibe that he wasn't homeless or a freak of any kind, just some poor schmuck who probably had an argument with his wife and decided to walk to the water and sleep away the anger.
Seeing him didn't make me feel sad, just a little melancholy.

And then he was gone.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

RulesRulesRules

I love how a freaking trailer park can get so uppity.
Go ahead, try to enforce all the rules you want, there's still going to be a 50% concentration of scumbags with stained wifebeaters, 40oz malt liquors in hand and wild speedy eyes.

And they don't own reliable cars.
So there will be bicycles and motorcycles.

As for solicitors, nobody in their right mind would try to sell magazine subscriptions in a trailer park.
Drugs--Yes.
Vacuum cleaners or encyclopedias--No.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Truck Dog

A common sight here is the truck dog.
Pickup trucks with a bed full of tools and/or construction materials are a tempting target for thieves, both casual and full-time.
So while pigging-out at Taco Bell™ or buying shotgun shells at WalMart™ the smart redneck leaves a big and scary-looking dog perched on his tool box.

Would you reach for anything in the back of a truck with a dog like this looking at you like you were wearing a bacon shirt?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Shopping Carts Gone Wild

After a crazy night out, have you ever woken-up someplace strange like on top of a bush in a parking lot?

I haven't either.
Maybe this cart's secret identity is as a woo.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Your Guess Is As Good As Mine

The Place: Parking lot at Arby's™.
The Players: Arby's manager and maintenance guy.
The Plan: Fire in the hole--the pothole to be precise.
The Purpose: ?????

Friday, June 08, 2007

Norm Sucks

This is an inside joke for Matthew.
During our exploration of the Lexington I spotted a freighter heading for the port, taking it right past a wet and dirty porthole and allowing me to try my hand at framing a ship with a round part of another ship.
I was laughing the whole time, knowing the result would end up here for you to see.
Hell, I'm laughing right now.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Woos

The only possible way to follow a post with a puking girl is with woos.

This is what my weekends are often like. Usually I ignore the shenanigans of your average woo, but these three were like woo instructors or have even had their woo numbers retired.

The one in the top photo managed to lose the shutter button off her digital camera.
How is that even possible?
Where there's a woo there's a way.