Sunday, August 02, 2015

Don't Walk

Bandera Rd @ Seneca, June 28.

Bandera Rd @ Seneca, July 2.

Pretend there's another photo dated August 2, because this WALK signal is still laying down on the job.


A few miles away--Evers Rd @ Wurzbach:
 

UPDATE 8/15/2015: Both the "WALK" signal and the red turn signal have been fixed. 
Looks like this blog gets more traffic than I thought. 

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Parked Chariot?

Spotted this a few days ago in a Target parking lot:
Thinking Ben-Hur, plus some of the crappier early '70s cartoons that seemingly inspired the Burt Reynolds Cannonball Run movies. Just because I posted something new after 28 months doesn't mean I'm resurrecting this blog! We'll have to wait and see...

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Spell Check


At least the ones facing the highway and parking lot were correct.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Beer Babes 3


My beer cans keep bringing out new pinup girls in shorts.
I used this as an excuse to showcase some brand-new leaves on a potted ivy because it's Spring and I'm enjoying it as hard as I can.





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Thursday, February 17, 2011

Fire Or Ice?

We were at a party for the AFC Championship game.
The host used a fire pit for icing down the beers.


It was cold enough outside to keep those bottles chilled without any ice at all, so obviously a fire would have been most welcome.

On the other hand, what do I care?
I didn't drink anything that night.



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Friday, February 04, 2011

Beer Babes 2

It's a little bit too cold to be wearing shorts, girl.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Have A Smoking Christmas

Seen at The Rim tonight:
We could see the smoke from a quarter mile away.
Thought someone was BBQing.
Pulled up and found out that the tree has so many lights they brought in a generator to power them all.
Needs a tune-up.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Beer Babes

You saw it here first!
Pin-up girls on beer cans, courtesy the Miller Brewing Company.

When I spotted this interesting new development at HEB tonight, I could swear I heard the word slut sotto voce, but I bought them anyway.

A sixer of the same pose gets old pretty quickly, though.
I hope "variety packs" aren't more expensive.

Anyone caught whacking to a beer can will probably get a divorce but at least 27 high fives, 15 of which are done wrong where the initiator grabs the responder's fingers.
This is the main reason I love/hate watching Wheel Of Fortune...





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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Comic Fun

Open to interpretation.
My thoughts run towards an indictment of our public schools.

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Baby's ButtAid

I have no need for this product, but the packaging was irresistable.

Relief for the un-happy Butt!
I know someone with an unhappy butt--unfortunately zinc oxide won't help them.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Fun Vehicles From Around The Web












Apparently, Blogger has fixed the glitch that always used to post your photo uploads in reverse order.
Got to remember that.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Recycling Rejected

The trucks had already come to pick up recyclables, but they didn't take one of my neighbor's loads:

Broken Rule #1: According to the guidelines, lids must be closed.
Which let the driver discover Broken Rule #2: Sticks and leaves aren't wanted at the recycling center.

They would have gotten away with breaking #2 is they had only followed #1.
Just like driving drunk--if you respect the speed limit and use your signals and drive in a straight line (except on curves), you'll probably sleep at home instead of jail.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Spelling Disa(s)ter

Recent reciept from Northern Tools--we needed a new wheel for the handtruck.

Makes me wonder how they got screwed during some previous crisis to have to enact a specific policy re: pumps and saws and gens.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Call-Girl Barbie

I'm afraid that Mattel hasn't gotten the word that the USA is full of change up to our ears.
(Okay, the change only reaches our knees--let's be honest).
From the Barbie Basics™ line, the only black doll is also the only one with her tits hanging out.
At least she looks stylish in her basic attire.
You need a lot of expensive accessories to portray Streetwalker Barbie, although business must be bad because she's on clearance.



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Thursday, July 29, 2010

Monte Carlo SS

This Chevy was for sale recently down the street from my 'hood.
The striking similarities to my Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme of the same period suggests 1985.
Our mom thought the Monte Carlo SS was just a little too muscular for a nice suburban lady so we settled on the very next best thing.
79,000 original miles, guys.
Hell, my Olds had more miles than that by '95!
Someone got a really sweet ride with this one--and if I wasn't looking for a truck right now this would have been the car of my dreams (if the price was right).
Unfortunately, I would have needed enough cash after the sale to buy some real wheels and especially tires.
The chromed Cragar mags are classic, but my Cutlass wore brushed aluminum American Racing wheels that were the simple dish type. Cragars were popular a little before my time.
And my cars (including a '77 Monte Carlo) always rode on Goodyear Eagles.
Back then, if you raced you used Eagles.
There was nothing else that rated consideration.
What the fuck is a Primewell?
Sounds like the crap you buy at PepBoys because you don't know any better.
"Ohhh--raised white letters! They MUST be cool!"
Uhhh...no.

Speaking of PepBoys/AutoZone:
Obviously, this car has a nice aftermarket stainless steel dual-exhaust system.
The factory system surely rusted-out years ago.
But the chrome exhaust tips in the Chevy BowTie design?
Uhhh...no.

I used to laugh at the guys who bought cars that were fast from the factory but too complicated for the average suburban dildo to work on himself.
They would wander around the big autoparts stores on Saturday looking to spend money on their fine ride, but not have a clue about camshafts and carburetors, springs and swaybars, locking lugnuts and lemon air fresheners.

So they would buy chrome license plate frames with simulated chains, an STP sticker (without knowing jack about Stone Temple Pilots), and the damned fuzzy dice.
Because they were players, dammit!
(Fuzzy dice, because you shoot craps all the time? Really?? REALLY??? More like Yahtzee, son).

I'm not saying I was a major gear-head, although I have done my share of wrenching.
But I never hung cheap-ass crap on my fine automobiles.
If an item didn't make it faster, corner more solidly, or make my tunes sound better, I ignored it.

Purity of design and function.
No bullshit bling on my guitars or guns, either.



Looking back on this year's posts, Zzakk's Garage is starting to lean solidly towards the subject matter that it's name might suggest.
Lots of cars in 2010!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Glad He's Not Driving

On NW Military between Loop 1604 and the Alon Market HEB at Wurzbach Pkwy, we were entertained by the antics of this drunk punk:

In all of recorded history, has yelling incomprehensibly at girls in other cars (or chariots) while waving your arms around ever worked?

I am Spartacus , and I got her number.

Good Luck, buddy!
Let us know how that works out.


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Thursday, July 15, 2010

Real Men?


As a "real" man who happens to love Jesus, this truck offends me.

Is this meant to sway men who are on the fence as far as both Christianity and their sexual identity?
Appealing to their self-doubt doesn't seem like something Jesus would approve of.
He never used this tactic anywhere in the Bible that I can recall.

If someone doesn't believe, but then makes the leap based on seeing this truck, I'm afraid I have to doubt their sincerity.
This kind of stuff makes Christians look like idiots--on par with the loud and obnoxious "preachers" who make visiting the Alamo such an ordeal.

Proclaiming that real men love kittens isn't going to make someone who hates cats suddenly love them, so why would it work for something as serious as faith?

So annoying...



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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Good Dogs, Bad Cats?

Those are the sayings, but it's not so simple.

Over several years of living in the same place, you might learn the names of your neighbor's pets.
Not all of them--for example, I don't care to learn anything about the 3 weinerdogs across the street because they're assholes.
I work in my yard all the time and really wish they would get used to it.
Shut up!
The new city trash barrels keep them from tearing open my garbage bags when they escape at night, which might be the best part of automated refuse pickup!


While watering last week this big fellow ran up to me, then hung around for 10 minutes or so.
Note the eyes.
Obviously not a Husky (there's a breeder around the corner) so I'm guessing Malamute or a Husky/Collie mix, but what the hell do I know about dogs?
His long hair flowed hypnotically with every step like some breeds at the Westminster Dog Show's main ring during the finals, so I was very impressed...until he maneuvered upwind of me.
This boy smelled!

Bad enough that I never touched him despite a strong desire to feel that fur.

Then he plopped-down on my wet grass, which couldn't have helped.
Bet he was running away from a bath when he found me.
Never learned his name, but probably will eventually.

(The photo doesn't really convey just how enormous this dog was).


This happened around midnight:
I heard a crash outside last night and did a window-peek.
Saw the trashed petunias, then caught a glimpse of a skinny cat shadow walking around our car.

There are two main suspects--Bucky and Willy.
Bucky has been featured here before, but at the time I had been mis-hearing his name when called for dinner as Lucky.
Interesting title on that link...a recent chat with his owner set me straight.

But I suspect it was Willy, Bucky's little brother by two or 3 litters who has been hanging around our house a LOT lately.
He spends his afternoons lounging in the grass in our backyard, then comes back late at night to sleep on a chair on our patio.
In fact, he's in the chair right now!

Willy's probably afraid of possums and deer and 'coons lurking in the dark on the sides of the houses in my 'hood, so he climbs our fence then jumps onto the roof and walks over to the front, where it's a short jump to the decorative brick wall that gives our sidewalk and porch some privacy.
We keep flowerpots on top of the wall, which makes it challenging for the cats.
A bad landing probably--hit the pot of petunias and scared himself silly.
No hard feelings, Willy.

I used to like Willy because he was silent, unlike his brother who won't shut his meow-hole if there's anyone around to listen.
But around 10pm tonight we were startled by something banging against our patio door, mere inches from the couch as we watched TV.
It was Willy hunting grasshoppers.
He also gets on the table under our porch light and goes after moths and geckos.
2 days ago I watched him play with a baby toad, and 2 months ago I saw him kill a lizard for fun and practice.

I guess the title should have been Smelly Dogs, Wild Cats.
For the record, I prefer the survival-oriented behavior of cats.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Yes And No

Very nice Camaro!
Clean, powerful, and from the era when I first fell in love with Detroit Muscle Cars.
Had the Hot Wheels car of this, but in dark blue paint.
I approve.




On closer examination, I'm conflicted.

LA Lakers fans are tools.



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