Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Led Zeppelin, Symphony Style

An interesting idea, the San Antonio Symphony doing Led Zeppelin songs.
One night only, for obvious reasons.
I don't think this is going to work very well, but who knows?

Will it introduce classical music to classic rock fans?
Or will the symphony-types get a new appreciation for some of the best rock music ever composed?
Considering how long ago Led Zep was in it's prime, aren't these two groups the same age and possibly the same people?

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Damn, I Look Good

Spotted this grackle checking himself out in the bumper reflection.
Thought of Heckle & Jeckle.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Jeans On Display

Sometimes I think the people who design the displays in department stores aren't even trying anymore.
Or trying too hard and failing.

Rolled-up cuffs?
Who the hell does that?

Pockets pulled out?
A popular look among those who are always passed-out drunk on the sidewalk.

Hardware store clamps acting like clothespins?
Try as you might to position these pants as something real men might wear, the facts point directly at your failure.

Men wear blue jeans.
Country types wear Wranglers, I think.
Legends speak of a brand called Lee's.
When your employer pays, it's Dickies.

If a man wants to appear casual--wait, strike that!
When a man is relaxing or working on stuff, he wears older Levi's that are faded and scuffed and might have a hole or two.
This keeps the newer jeans from getting damaged--it's not a fucking fashion statement.

The trousers in the photo are all different colors that simulate various stages of age and hard usage. One pair sports fake stainage as if the wearer was routinely engaged in non-Wii activities of a manly nature.
Lies And Bullshit.

Men don't buy steaks with bite marks or half-smoked cigars or opened cans of beer.
Would you actually pay more for a new car with faded paint and some scratches just to impress upon strangers that you've driven it around awhile?
It makes zero fucking sense.
Scars and wrinkles and skills and wisdom are earned.

If you try to buy them it makes you a poser and a tool.
And everyone knows it just from looking at you!

In related news: Today I saw a white guy wearing his big pants down below his ass like it was 2006, and some muffin-tops that were 5 visits to Starbucks away from becoming loaves of french bread.
It's 2008.
Either go new or go classic--anything else is just plain lazy.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

What's That Smell?

Much like Hillary's chances, this deer was dead, smelled like ass, and was covered with flies.

Found it on a bike ride--my theory based on the damage I saw and other clues is that it was clipped by a car on Wurzbach Road, breaking a hind leg and it's pelvis.
Poor thing had enough adrenaline and guts to make it a hundred feet into the field and then lay down to die.
I was just starting to get sad when the smell hit me, and that was the end of that.

Checked on it today (a week later) and there's nothing but fur, bones and the 8-point rack.
Dust to dust.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Fish Gone Wild

You might recognize this fish from your aquarium--the hard working plecostomus, also called "sucker fish" by morons.
Another common name is armored catfish.
Whatever you want to call them, this photo proves that people don't have much common sense.

This was taken in the currently drained San Antonio River. It's swimming in six or 8 inches of water and doing just fine.
Problem is, these fish don't belong in this particular ecosystem.
Over the years enough shitheads have dumped their aquariums into the river (probably in a hurry to move--eviction is a bitch) that a population of plecos has grown to sustainable levels.
Hell, sustainable is an understatement--these hardy bastards have taken over the bottom-feeding niche and all but driven out the native catfish.
And that's a shame.
Ever seen one of these over a foot long? Now you have, and it proves how well they're doing.

So next time you need to dispose of your tropical fish do what the rest of us do: Sell them back to the pet store, give them to a friend, or just feed them to your cat.
It's funny that the people who can't bring themselves to kill a stupid fish end up helping to kill thousands of them.

On a related note, the State introduced tilapia into the river and they have been as big of a problem as the plecos.
And the large population of green iguanas in South Florida--created by people releasing pets that got too big for them to handle--were getting so chilled during a recent cold snap that they would shut down and eventually let go of the tree branches they were hanging onto.
Yes, it got so cold in Florida that it was raining iguanas.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Leave Fireworks To The Professionals

This is why the average citizen shouldn't play with fire.
You don't want an extreme makeover like this one.

Yes, it's a trick photo--flash plus long exposure. Try it sometime.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Cat On A Cold Shingle Roof.

The '...Hot Tin Roof' title flows better, right?

Taken on Christmas Day 2007 shooting all the way across the street from the paper-ripping with my truly weak 5X-Optical-Zoom Zeiss lens.
But I used the "Spot Meter" exposure setting, which I have never seen anyone else use.
"It's cool, y'all!" (That's a verified quote from Gurney/Ambulance/Committed Britney).

If your camera has this (many do) you enable it then put the cross on your subject and the camera will set exposure for that precise point only, ignoring the rest of the frame.
In this case the white cat wasn't blown-out to a nuclear glow and the rest of the frame has a nice darker tonality.
Conversely, if you were taking a photo of a person in shadow or with their back to the sun the result would be a good exposure on your subject and a blown-out background.
Not for casual use, and don't forget to switch it off again or the rest of your pictures will be ruined.